Big Mac, Big Problems
by Cinnamonqueen
Summary: Oneshot. Anzu must remind Jou in what fast food chain his loyalty truly belongs. ProBuger World AnzuxJou


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters featured in this fic,Yu-Gi-Oh, or McDonald's

Note/Warning: This is my first Yu-Gi-Oh fic.

It is a Anzu/Jou centered fic. Starring an insane, Burger World-loyal, Anzu and a confused and hungry Jou.

(This particular pairing, doesn't really appeal to me, I'm really in to shounen-ai and yaoi couples, but I'm inexperienced in writing them, so bear with me.)

**Warning: This has a sudden, random splurge of fluff, toward the end.**

If you don't like this fic because of the pairing, than there is a simple solution...don't read it.

Constructive Critisism is acceptable.

Also note, that this has quite a bit of McDonald's bashing.

Without further adieu, I bring you the fic:

* * *

**Big Mac, Big Problems**

It was a beautiful day to be out and about in the park, anyone would agree. The birds were incessantly chirping, the dogs were consistently barking and the children were unceasingly shrieking and playing. The din of the day was slowly fading into a mellow evening, and the not so fresh scent of McDonald's was in the air.

Jonouchi Katsuya sauntered over to a desolate picnic table. In his clutches, was a large brown paper bag emblazoned with the McDonald's logo, and a large milkshake. Once seated, he carefully pulled out an excessivly packaged burger and unwrapped it lovingly, as if it were a delicate Christmas gift.

And there it lay in all its glory.

A Big Mac.

Just how Jou imagined it to be. Two hefty slices of seseame bread sanwiched a mouth-watering beef patty, all brown and sizzling. The next layers consisted of two sumptious pickles, a fresh tomato slice, all red and juicy; small bits of leaf-green lettuce; three chunky rings of savory onions; a slice of ambrosial cheese, and to top it of an array of delectable condiments, such as mayonaise, ketchup, mustard and the "special sauce".

Next, he pulled out a small box containing a copius amount of fries. His milkshake, which happened to be chocolate, stood enticingly on the side. Once his meal was set in place, he looked down on it with a sense of pride and...well...hunger. He picked up the burger, smacking his lips greedily and took a wholesome chunk from it.

_'Oh, its heaven_,' Jou thought contentedly. As he sipped his chocolate milkshake, a look of pure pleasure crossed his features, and one truly would have thought he was the happiest man in the world.

"Jou!"

His pleasant picnic was suddenly interrupted, by a high-pitched, familiar voice, and he felt a pang of annoyance.

Jou winced, _'Wonderful, the food nazi herself.'_

* * *

A frazzled Anzu Myzaki trudged out of Burger World, her black heels, which were part of the standard unifrom, clicked dully on the pavement outside. 

The exhausting and particularily demanding day at Burger World had taken a toll on her usual cheery demeanour and state of perfection.

For one, her uniform was rumpled and slightly stained. Her hair was oddly dishevlled, so that her bangs stuck up commically and her shoes were strangling her poor feet.

Her mood had been further dampened due to a certain blonde, who had negelcted to show up during her lunch break.

Working at Burger World had its set backs, but it definately offered a variety of advantages as well. One such advantage, was Jou's daily visits.

The two hadn't been very good friends in the past, they're only realconnection was their devotion to Yugi. Besides that, they always found each other's presence slightly threatening.

Jouconsidered Anzu to bea domineering, perfectionistand Anzu found Jou to be an obnoxious klutz.

But they're meetings at Burger World had changed all that. The two had begun to bond over burgers and milkshakes during Anzu's breaks, and it escalated from there.

It was a relationship Anzu was especially fond of, who knew Jou was so endearing? Break by break she had become increasingly smitten with him. It was all to easy, he was a natural charmer, and he knew how to put a girl at ease. She especially loved the way he ate. She had developed an odd fetish towards it.

When he ate, Jou was in a world of his own. It was some odd kind of euphouria for him. Better than any drink or drug could ever do.

_'Trust Jou to be like that when it comes to food,'_ Anzu had thought to herself, with an amused smile.

Of course, she had never acted upon her strange emotion towards the boy, in fear of ruining they're fantastic relationship. None the less, she watched his relationships, just as much as she watched what he ate...like a hawk.

But lately, the past week, to be exact, Jou had been slighting his visits. Anzu didn't like this at all. She was a girl of routine, and Jou was a part of her routine.

Her suspisions had been aroused. Either; (a) he was eating out elsewhere, or slightly worse (b) he was seeing a girl.

On top of her increasing alarm at Jou's neglect, a strong competetor had opened up not far from Burger World. The most sinful pleasure house of them all. The Golden Arches themselves.

McDonald's.

Anzu shuddered at the thought. McDonald's was the enemy. But it was an enticing enemy, none the less. An alarming number of students had begun to flock there for their noon time meals, much to the dismay of Burger World's managers.

In retaliation, they had pressurized their employees, most of which were students, to crank the advertising scam up a notch.

"Remind your fellow peers of what Burger World has done for them, how it has worked ceaselessly to bring everyone a unique taste sensation!"

Anzu had been the only one nodding eagerly and taking down notes.

She had a mission.

Sothus it had begun.

Not a single wall or notice board in Domino High was without a flier or notice informing the students of Burger World's special offers and new additions to the menu. Jou and Yugi had helped her with that.

Jou was her biggest supporter, and that fact alone made her the happiest. It also allowed her to get through the tumultous week, featuring his many absensceses.

But she was glad to go home now, and sleep her weekend away, possibly call Jou and chide him from keeping away, and finally discovering the reason for his lack of visitation.

She all but stumbled across the street and headed toward a clean house and available shower. In her haste, she impulsively decided to take a shortcut across the park.

Impulsive and shortcut, were not terms generally associated with Anzu. See what effect the day was having on her?

As she limped rather piteously across the clipped grass and around the manicured flowerbeds, she spotted a blonde blur, from across the park. She back tracked slowly, despite the fierce protest of her feet.

It was Jou! Her heart leapt as excitedly as it could and even her feet seemed to want to dance in his general direction. In fact they seemed to be doing just that when suddenly, a strange,pungent smelldrifted over andtickled her nostrils.

Her eyes widened.

_No_.

_It couldn't be_.

She stood frozen, immobolized, at the shocking display before her. Moritification danced on her features, and she promptly dropped her purse.

McDonald's?

_Mc-freaking-Donald's?_

'_Traitor_', her mind screamed. _'How could he...the foolish, foolish boy!'_

Suddenly a thought struck her, and she forced herself to remain calm. _'There must be some explanation to this...this, outrageous behaviour...this tactless display of loyalty',_ she thought, if not a little desperately.

At Burger World,Anzu had learned that it was the only place to buy fast food.

The ONLY place.

Her managers at Burger World had emphasized the importance of advertising this fact to everyone, which she immediately set about doing.

She had constantly stressed this to her friends and peers around her, usually through brochures or lectures. Furthermore, the managers instilled within her the idea of strict loyalty to the company.

* * *

**Flashback**

In fact, Burger World was one ofAnzu's standard lunch time topics. She wasted no time in persauding her friends to offer they're absolute loyalty to Burger World and Burger World alone.

"Your crazy Anzu, really, your starting to scare me, absolute loyalty?...Where the hell is the variety?" Honda had asked with incredulioty etched across his otherwise plain features."I swear they've been brainwashing you, putting something in your food no doubt, your their zombie!"

"It does seem like a form of propaganda?" Yugi had agreedwith an amsused smile, that quickly faltered when he became the target of Anzu's glare.

"Don't ya worry Anzu," Jou had piped up in her defence. "I'll support Burger World to the full! I'll give my, errrr, loyalty."

That had sent the girl into a frenzy of squeals of delight. Tristan had rolled his eyes and Yugi stifled a giggle at Jou's pleased glow.

* * *

Jou had promised his alleigance. He promised! He swore that Burger World would be the sole source of fast food, he would ever eat. 

_Ever!_

She would have to put an end to this.

Yes.

She told herself that this was not, as people may think, anger produced because of his neglect of herdueto McDonald's food, no, of course not. This...well...this was much bigger than that, after all she was above such petty things, she couldn't be jealous of food now could she?

No this was a far bigger problem. He had betrayed her and Buger World.

_'Yes, he needs to be told...to be told he is doing the wrong thing...to be told where his loyalty must lie.'_ She waddled over to him, a thin smile plastered on her face. She forced her blue eyes to look gentle, to radiate a kind of warmth and concern,

In Jou's opinion, she looked like a raging rhino. He watched her a tad fearfully as she approached, her raunchy appearance confused him. This was not prim and proper, sunny Anzu. This was a frowzy and miffed, nettled Anzu.

_'Those kinds of Anzu's'_, Jou decided, _'were not good kinds'_.

"Hello Anzu," Jou managed weakly, setting his now, half-eaten sandwich down ever so slowly and reluctantly.

"Jou, Jou, Jou," Anzu simpered, the steely note bearly detectable, but still ominously present."What _are_ you doing?"

"Eating food," Jou replied in a small voice._'Christ almighty, what have I done?'_ "Would you like some?" He nudged the fries at her pathetically.

Now she looked affronted. She leaned down, bracing each arm on the table in front of her, her eyes holding a deadly glint.

"Eat that?" She asked quietly, "Why would I do that? Afterall," her voice rosea notch, "I know Buger World is much better, and I've been a very loyal customer...I thought you were too."

"I am loyal to Buger World," Jou protested his innocence, with an even smaller voice then before.

He hated to be accused of things,out of natural habbit, he felt a strong urge todefend himself develop.Waving a fry in her face and popping it in his mouth, much to Tea's horror, he said, "But I figured they're all the same."

"They, Are, NOT, The, Same, Jou," Her breathing was slightly laboured and Jou's eyes widened with alarm. _'Hey she kind of looks cute like that, all red and angry,'_ he thought, and then gave himself a mental slap, _'no, no, concentrate on what she's saying or she'll boycott her friendship with you.'_ He nearly smiled at the idea.

Anzu sat down across from him and leanedtoward him, her mind racing in order to find something that would bring her friend back to the winning team. She folded her hands in front of her, in a very business like manner.

"Jou," she entreated, a little more gently. "Burger World provides its customers with unique taste sensations," She recited from one of their grotty brochures. "Its unlike any other fast food place in the world."

Jou looked down confusedly at his burger, and took a small bite. Anzu had to stifle a gasp, not only was he shamelessly displaying his disloyalty,but helookedextremely sexy while doing so. "But it tastes the exact same, and it looks the exact same, and they have exactly the same-"

"But its not healthy!" Anzu burst out, switching tactics like an agile swordsmen and ripping her gaze away from his mouth. "Don't you see? McDonald's is a killer." She paused looking down at the enemy's meal for inspiration. "Look I'll show you."

And before Jou could utter as single protest, Anzu dived for his burger and picked the top bun off, discarding it over her shoulder. Now it was Jou's turn to be affronted, this was clearly cruelty towards food, and he was starving! 'Now she's exaggerating,' he thoughtcontemptuously. He was about to voice his thoughts,when Anzu cut across him like lightning.

"Look at this, its absolutely vile, absolutely disgusting and-" She closed her eyes for inspiration. "Putrid."

"Awe c'mon Anzu-"

"Look!" Anzu's voice was raised a pitch. "Look at this patty, its the most sorry looking thing I've ever seen. Hardly comparable to the stuff they advertise, is it?"

She was gleeful when she caught sight of a McDonald's billboard, nearby. It displayed an entire meal, on a red and white backdrop. The logo, _I'm Lovin' it_, seemed to beam down on them.

"See? Look at that burger, its all fresh, and plump and juicy. Now look at this," She gestured to the small defaced burger. "Look at this sorry excuse, hardly anywhere near Burger World standards. I bet this patty's a few days old."

No matter how hard Jou was trying to ignore Anzu's rant and wild justiculating, he couldn't help but notice her claims were partly true. He began to eye his burger with slight skeptisicm.

"They wouldn't-"

"Oh wouldn't they?" Anzu's eyes gleamed. "McDonald'skills people slowly Jou! Look, none of these vegetables lookeven remotely fresh,seethis tomato? Its all soggy and disgusting. And this mayonaise is definately about to turn."

"But it tastes fine to me," Jou countered.

"Yeah, it may taste fabulous, but this stuff is going straight to your arteries! They're clogging them as we speak!"

Jou rolled his eyes, and a small burst of laughter escaped his lips.

"I don't see what's so funny Jou."

"Just the way you talk about it Anzu, is all," He replied hastily, and proceeded to sip his milkshake. Once again Anzu nearly melted, as he closed his eyes in complete pleasure.

'_Look at me like that.'_

She shook her head.

"I'm concerned for you!"

"Really?" Jou asked, arching an eyebrow, looking slightly ridiculous with a small smudge of mustard on his lip. He leaned forward. "How much?"

Anzu drew back slightly, flustered and side tracked.

"I, well that is to say, errrr,"she sighed, "Jou if you continue to eat from...from the enemy, you'll have an early heart attack!"

This time Jou did laugh, and promptly began to choke on his milkshake.

"Jou!"

Anzu reached over frantically and pounded his back. Jou spluttered for a little, laughing so hard, milkshake seeped out of his nose.

"Oh gross Jou!" Anzu drew back, as Jou continued to laugh. He shook his head, and Anzu couldn't help but notice how sweet he looked, his golden, shaggy, mane fell into his faceas he reached for a napkin to wipe the offending substance off his face.

"See? Its a killer!"

"Oh for Chrissake Anzu! I chocked because I was laughing!" Jou couldn't shake of the goofy grin that was playing around his lips.

"Please Jou, don't do this to yourself, don't eat from that place! You never come to see-errr, come to eat at Burger World" Anzu pleaded with him.

"What have I got to gain Anzu?"

"Are you serious! I just told you!"

"So what if I fancy an early death," Jou shrugged, studying her carefully.

"Don't say that Jou," Anzu mumbled.

He became a little impatient, he wasn't about to be drawn in by all this was he? This silly talk concern for his health, she just wanted him to continue to come to Burger World because he was a good customer, and they needed all the money they could get. They were just milking students nowdays. He felt himself deflate, and he had thought she would've perhaps valued his company or something like that.

"Is this because I"m Burger World's number one customer or-"

"Because you never come to see me anymore," Anzu blurted. Her face reddened considerably, challenging the discarded tomato from Jou's burger.

"What!"

"Is there some waitress your seeing at McDonald's or something?" Anzu asked bracingly.

Her eyes widened as she realized what she had just said. _'Oh no Anzu you complete cow, now what is he going to think? You were supposed to be bashing McDonald's, NOT prying into his potential love life!'_

He looked at her curiously, tilting his head to the side. She pretended to be interested inoneof his limp onion rings, that seemed to be oozing with grease.

"There's no girl Anzu, I just went to McDonald's cuz it was closer ok?"

Anzu didn't reply.

"Your jealous?"

"No," Came the all-too-fierce reply.

"You are!" Jou grinned like a cheshire cat.

She mumbled something inaudible like "Should have known it was a girl, I mean McDonald's really does suck."

Jou sat there staring at the girl for a while. Than he got up quickly.

Anzu had the urge to lunge across the table, grab his sleeveand ask him to forget the whole thing. But pride stood in the way, she watched, with a heavy heart as Jou gathered the contents of his McDonald'smeal from the table and walk away.

Without a word he left her there alone on the table. She could feel her throat tighten, and bit her lip to keep from crying. She rippd her gaze from the retreating blonde and looked down, huge tears threatening to spill. She cursed her oversensitivity.

Her headjerked up suddenly, when she heard a loud clang and looked up to see one of the best sights in the world.

Jonouchi Katsuya had emptied the contents of his meal, closed the dump lid and was currently walkingback toward her.

He had given up his meal, for her?

She watched in amazement as he came back and stood in front of her.

"I like you too Anzu," He said softly.

And then Anzu did a very unlike-Anzu thing, she leapt into his arms screaming like a banshee. He caught her with a surprised look, nearly tumbling back into the soft springy grass which contained a rather fresh pile of dog dung.

He laughed pleasantly and lowered his head to kiss her, when she jerked back sharply.

"I can't," she said suddenly. Jou looked absolutely shocked, his grin immediately slipped of his face.

"But I thought-"

"I can't kiss you!"

"Why?"

"You just had Macdonald's! Kissing you would be like eating from there, and I can't do that to Burger Wor-mmmph!"

Jou could care less.

* * *

Shakes head

Ok, now take it easy, I don't much appreciate flames, but I acknowledge that this story lacked one of the better story plots, and my attempt at humour pretty much failed. But like I said constructive critisicm works. I look forward to any reviews!

Thank you.

The Cinnamon Queen


End file.
